Monday, June 28, 2010

Spare tire

Keeping a spare tire for the car is a good practice. It’s like maintaining a buffer for whatever wicked thing that can happen to one of the tires. A few weeks after I purchased my car Britney, I was unfortunate enough to be a victim of those vulcanizing shops who place tacks near their vicinity so they can have instant clients. Good thing brand new cars have spare tires kept in their trunks. Thus, I was early to realize the benefit of a spare tire.

If we contextualize spare tires to people, that would be a different story. Regrettable enough, I had recently been used as a spare tire of someone. You’ll get what I mean, shortly.

WARNING: The following sentences contain too much drama and raving, and they can “violate” you.

So my friends and I went out on a Thursday night to send off one of my closest buddies who will be then flying to the States for a 6-month work assignment. We went to this gay club in Malate where I met a guy. He is cute and attractive, and we had on-the-spot chemistry. We were talking about stuff, until he suddenly confessed to me that he has a boyfriend, whom he is living with.

Reality check: I was flirting with a committed guy who just sneaked out from the place he is sharing with his lover to go clubbing and meet some people. But what the hell, I still entertained him anyway. And we exchanged digits!

We started texting so that we can get to know more things about each other. Until one day, his boyfriend caught him. But we managed to continue our communication through some weirdly funny codes, so I would know if it’s him who’s texting; otherwise, it’s his boyfriend using his phone to nose about me.

I asked him out so he would see the real odd person that I am. I asked him to join me in one of the activities that I love doing alone. I guess he liked that idea of our date, and I was starting to like him. As I was about to drop him off, I asked a kiss from him, which he obliged. It was a totally bad idea, as things were never the same after that moment. I knew I was beginning to fall for him.

I thought things were happening to my favor as I learned that he broke up with his partner and moved out of their apartment. I took advantage of the situation and invited him as a “plus one” to a friend’s party. I was happy that he mingled well with my friends. My friends actually felt that he is becoming assimilated into our circle. Everything went pretty much well, and hot, and the rest is history. His lovemaking words were so promising that it gave me a spark of hope that there could be an “us” in the near future.

One very busy and stressful day in the office, I received a text from him implying that he and his ex-boyfriend patched things up and got back together. It suddenly dawned to me that I was just used as a spare tire – a comfort person during trying times who can be disposed off easily. I couldn’t blame him alone, because I allowed him to exploit me. I admit I was teary-eyed, and it totally ruined my day.

Looking back, I realized that it wouldn’t have worked out easily between the two of us because we started out as an act of cheating, to be blunt about it. Maybe they really love one another and I was just a hurtful phase in their more-than-a-year relationship.

So here I am, back to my cynical and jaded self. It’s not like I’m gonna go emo over this. Putting everything into words indeed helped a lot. Some things are just not meant to be.

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