On the Haiyan/Yolanda Aftermath

Posted on my Facebook account last November 14, 2013:

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I seldom rant or think out loud on Facebook. But this time, please let me share my 2 (or more) cents on all these hullabaloos.

ON CRITICIZING RELIEF OPERATIONS

Yes, the government and organizations can only do so much. Yet, many survivors need to receive the aid as soon as possible; else, they will die of hunger and diseases.

But obviously, there are many things that are not working effectively and efficiently. As concerned citizens, we need to call these things out - especially the slow paced relief distribution, the government's non-stop blame game, the useless and deliberate downplay of death toll (through the help of some local reporters), among others.

It's not because we just wanna troll around, it's because we give a damn and WE CARE. And we want action to speed up. We want things to improve. If you look at it, this is actually a way of helping out.

We need to give feedback. In the first place, this is the government's JOB (for crying out loud). We want them to succeed in this endeavor!

But to be fair, let's make sure all these complaints are matched with action on our part.

ON LOOTING

I can't blame these people. They are desperate and hungry, and they have families to feed.

Think about it. What would you do if you were in their shoes?

In my mind, if the same level of devastation happens in Manila, I'm very sure the potential looting could be worse!

This is a rare instance where we shouldn't judge these people as long as they are merely doing this for their (note:) BASIC NEEDS.

ON DOMESTIC AND FOREIGN AID

Thank you. Thank you very much. As people who believe in debt of gratitude or "utang na loob", we will forever be grateful, and we will never forget.

As a token of appreciation, let us be vigilant and ensure that ALL donations go to the rightful beneficiaries, and not in the pockets of the greedy.

A transparent accounting and very strict audit should be in place. This is an opportunity for whoever is tasked to do this to step up, shine and bring back our lost credibility.

ON SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS

Can we just stop policing people on what they post on social media?

Just because people photos, statuses or links that are not related to the super typhoon or relief operations, doesn't mean they don't care.

You don't even know what they do outside in the real world. Who knows, they could have donated or volunteered more than you have.

After all, this is social media, a virtual world - not church or school! If you don't like what you see, unfollow or remove them from your friends list! Stop being self-righteous bitches.

And by the way, flooding our timelines with tons of relief blah blah blah's without action on your end doesn't count. Sorry. Try harder.

ON GIVING

Just donate or help, period. No need to post pictures and announce to the whole world what you've done. I rarely quote the Bible, but this time I believe the verse below is most appropriate:

Matthew 6:2 "So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others..."

ON RESILIENCE

This is a very admirable attitude of the Filipinos, a proof that our spirit as a people is very strong, not easily shaken and can easily move on with our lives.

But after everything that has happened to us - as far as I can remember from the earthquake/volcanic erruption/lahar/flashflood of the 1990's when I was very young, to this... More than ever, our mentality on horrifying aftermaths should not just be "rise and move on", but also "NEVER AGAIN."

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At the end of the day, let us all do our part, yet remain vigilant.

Lifespan of a social network

Screenshot of mIRC

During the early years of the internet, social networking was unheard of. When I was in high school (1997-2001) and early college (2001-2002), the "in" thing then was chatting via mIRC. If someone asks for your photos, you give them the link to your yahoo profile, pic link, or other photo uploading sites.

There was a high level of anonymity in using this internet relay chat client because you can basically use any username (that may or may not be related to your real name at all) and you are not required to upload a profile picture.

It is up to the users to post on the main channel pages and attract other users to chat with you. Many people post their location (e.g. "Makati anyone?") so that someone nearby may send them a message and start a conversation. Some post their interests ("Who among here reads the Harry Potter series?") for the same purpose.

Yahoo! Messenger also became a big hit because of its customize-able look (font, background, profile photo). This chat application also has different channels where a user can join conversations. There is less anonymity in this chat platform because it is connected to your personal email account which can be hacked.

Come 2002, social networking was born through the creation of Friendster.com. It is a networking site where a user can add his friends, family, schoolmates and acquaintances as part of his social circle. With the success of Friendster, other sites like MySpace and Facebook were created to challenge its success. MySpace became very successful in the US and became number 1. Friendster remained stable and strong in some countries like the Philippines until Facebook and Twitter became the new leaders, making the fall of Friendster inevitable.

I was lucky to have been able to copy all my photos uploaded in Friendster before it completely transformed itself to the social gaming site that it is today. Good thing I tried to read all messages and notifications on a regular basis even if I was more busy with Facebook and multiply then (year 2009).

http://vincimendoza.multiply.com/

Multiply.com is another social networking site that gained popularity here in the Philippines because of the ability that it gave users to create their own site where they can upload photos, videos, blogs, reviews, announcements and other stuff. However, the site also reached its dormancy stage and transformed into a marketplace (buy-and-sell) website that it is today.

Oh how I miss my multiply site. I dedicated a lot of time customizing it to give it a "me" look. Now, barely anyone visits my site. My problem now is how to transfer all the media that I have uploaded to this site to this current blog and/or to my Facebook account. I can't remember if I have a back-up of all those files so I might end up with the copy/save-as method which is very time consuming and cumbersome.

Today, Facebook and Twitter dominates the social networking world. What made Facebook an instant hit is its simplicity - no background design and customization, just posts - which made it easy to load and access, whether through a computer or a mobile phone. Still, it has all the features a social network should have.

Twitter logo

As for Twitter, it is also as popular as Facebook because it complements it. Its features do not directly compete with those of Facebook. Twitter, dubbed as "the SMS of the Internet," enables one to post tweets (up to 140 characters only) to update your followers on things that you are doing, your thoughts, feelings, share quotations, share links, make announcements and even advertisements.

The problem now is the ability to back-up everything a user has posted to these 2 major social networking sites. I started using Facebook last 2008. Right now, I know the company is still stable. But who knows when its demise might be, right? By then, how will I be able to compile all the photos, videos and other media that I have uploaded and shared? Sounds very difficult right? Same as with Twitter - as of now, I have posted 8,700+ tweets since I joined the site and I still have no idea how to compile all my tweets from inception to date.

With all the ups and downs that these social network sites have gone through, I think it's always safe to have a backup of one's media files (photos, music, videos, blog posts, etc.) so that whatever happens to these sites will no longer pose a problem in terms of recovery. In the past, people used to print almost all pictures taken with film cameras - and one can easily look back at those memories. Today, digital cameras allowed users to save their numerous photo files on their computers and simply upload them somewhere in the internet. Indeed, a reliable backup and recovery tool (e.g. USB's, external hardware) is the solution.

Let's stay connected. Whether we admit it or not, it's what keeps us sane. Feel free to add me on Facebook and Twitter, or send me an email. Cheers!

The Filipino society as I see it

Society plays a vital part in shaping a country, together with politics and economy. Social weather more often dictates what laws can be passed. People's culture and tastes are basis of the different products that companies can profit from. Most of the time, things that are against social norms are ignored and rejected.

There are so may things that we can be proud of our society and our culture. Some notable parts of the Filipino culture that I am aware and I can see around are:

• Strong family ties - We love our families so much that we continue live with them even if one is old enough to be independent (based on other cultures' standards - e.g. 18 years old for Americans) and even if one already has a family of his/her own. Extended families are everywhere. This is one of the positive values that Filipinos have that show how much they love and want to stay with their families for a long time. Even in independent situations, Filipinos miss their families a lot, especially those who are in other countries for whatever reason. That is why reunions happen most of the time during holidays and special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries.
• Bayanihan culture - Filipinos cannot take or even tolerate suffering of their fellowmen. Hence, they extend help to achieve common goals. This is evident in the hardest of times like when someone dies, people give money or "abuloy" to the relatives of the deceased. Rich people and even people living simple lives donate what they can to victims of calamities.
• Hospitality - We are naturally warm to our guests may they be local or foreign. We serve food, clean for them, provide a place to stay, and even give them stuff to bring back home when they leave (pasalubong).
• Religious practices - These are manifested in times of religious holidays when people flock to visit their churches to attend services. Major religious holidays in the country are Christmas and Holy Week/Easter for Christians and Ramadan for Muslims. In their own times, people pray a lot whether to ask for favor from the gods, ask for forgiveness, praise and thank the gods for all the blessings.
• Fiesta celebrations - The country has a lot of feasts in different regions that make seasonal tourism a lucrative business for many. These are also chances for various provinces to boast their celebrations whenever they are featured on media. Government even declares national non-working holidays for major feasts, making the Philippines one of the countries with the most holidays in the world.
• Sense of humor amidst poverty - People love to just laugh about almost everything, even the simplest of things. People can even find humor in the major events that they see in the news - even bad news. Jokes are evolving; everyday; there can be new jokes out of new events.
• Filipino pride - We take so much pride in the achievements of our fellowmen. We love to announce to the world how great Filipinos are, even those only with less than full Filipino blood (if there's such thing as pure Filipino blood) in other countries. You can see on social media like Facebook and Twitter how easily Filipinos can make their fellowmen trend worldwide in their times of glory.
• Love for food - People just love to eat! Even during simple events, we celebrate by eating. This love to eat strengthen the ties that families and friends have for each other, because they spend time with each other. With this big love for food, you can still hear a lot of people saying they will stick to a strict diet for them to lose weight but the next minute, you see them munching on food again. This is, however, a watch-out for people because one of the major causes of death in the country arises from unhealthy diet.

Sadly, there are so many other Filipino habits that I believe hinder progress, and more often than not create misunderstandings and even chaos. Below are some of them.

• Colonial mentality - This is in irony with our Filipino pride. We may not be aware of it at times, but there are many instances where we value western culture, people or products more than our own. More Filipinos watch American idol (vs. local talent shows), NBA (vs. PBA), and other international TV series. Foreign films make more money than local films. People are willing to pay thousands of pesos just to watch concerts of international superstars, but do not want to watch a local performer even for free. We prefer international brands of clothing than our own. We make a big fuss about international franchises of food that come into our country, rather than favoring our local delicacies. And most of all, many people lack pride in the "Filipino look" - brown-skinned, short-nosed, etc. We spend a deal of fortune just to make our skin fairer, and some go as far as going under the knife to look "imported." Skin whitening products are everywhere and it's a big shame that Filipino marketing graduates from top schools in the country sell these soaps and creams. More so, local companies are profiting and growing from selling papaya soaps and gluta products that whiten skin.
• Crab mentality - Admit it, more often than not, we easily get envious of other people's success. And this envy sometimes results to finding flaws in a person to the point of destroying another, pulling them down from the throne of their triumph, so that one can steal the spotlight.
• Belief in misconceptions - We tend to believe in a lot of absurd things like:
• All gay men dresses and acts effeminately.
• Gay people look for love from straight men.
• Gay men want to become women.
• Misconceptions related to certain sicknesses that are totally false.
• Superstitions - Educated people know that superstitions have no scientific basis. But there are many instances when we still follow these things, thinking "There's no harm in believing anyway" - even at our own expense.
• Too much integration of Church in politics and society - This is one of the reasons why the Philippines is still poor. We cannot pass bills on reproductive health, divorce, death penalty, marriage equality, etc. because the Church (led by the CBCP) interferes a lot. Religion is good, they teach a lot of values to its followers that make them live good lives. But this is a democratic country where the government and society should stand on its own. Government should be able to enact and enforce laws that majority of the leaders deem would be beneficial for the entire country without anyone telling them that this is inconsistent with the bible. Different sectors of society should be able to express what they feel through are without fear of persecution from the church just because their belief is different. The Church is becoming pathetic; it seems like they just want to be involved in everything even if they're not invited. They just want to be heard even when people are not asking for their opinion. They just want to stop everything - even the progress of this country. Someone should do something about this. Many other countries progressed because they did not let religion stand in their way.
• Tendency to complain/whine/blame - When the weather is hot, we complain. When it's raining and it's cold, we complain. We can't seem to be satisfied with just about anything. When something goes wrong, we simply whine instead of doing something about it. When we hear bad news, we tend to blame different people or sectors of society - instead of finding a solution for the problem.
• Machismo, sexist/discriminative tendencies - Until today, many men believe that they are better than women. A perfect example is when a man is driving or is just on the road, and sees an accident or just a bad driver, he immediately says "Babae 'yang driver (The driver is a woman)." Chivalry is okay, as evidenced when men give up their seat in a public transport and offer them to an old lady, pregnant woman or a mother with a child. But nowadays, many women are stronger and doesn't give a damn. They can do everything that men can. No doubt about it. But words that Filipinos love to say often brings back these sexist tendencies. An example is "Kalalaki mong tao, ang duwag-duwag mo (You're a man, yet you're a coward)." It's as if males are not allowed to be scared of anything, and women are licensed to be afraid of anything - as if they're the weaker sex. And what hurts me the most are our tendencies to look down on gay people. When people say "Mayaman nga, bakla naman. (He may be rich, but he's gay anyway)" It's as if being gay makes one less of a person. Also, Filipinos relate cowardice to being gay. People say, "Bakla ka pala eh (Oh you're a fag)" whenever someone chickens out on a challenge. Gay people can look like strong masculine men too, as I have described in my blog about non-straight men (http://thevincidavinci.blogspot.com/2012/06/non-straight-guys.html). Sad to say, these discriminatory acts and beliefs towards gay people are reflected and magnified in media by stupid gay directors and writers themselves.
• Racism - No one can say I am wrong about this. We laugh on the color of black people; we think it's dirty. We deliberately and mockingly call them "negro", "egoy," "negrito," or what have you without being politically correct (African, African-American, black). We think all Indians and Arabs have bad body odor because of the spices in the food they eat. We think blondes are dumb. The list could go on. Yet, the worse part is, we react so negatively when other people throw racist remarks against Filipinos, like when they imply that we are only good in providing domestic helpers to other countries, we are good-for-nothing monkeys who love to kiss a foreigner's ass for money, we all want to become Americans, among others.
• Love of gossip - No need to elaborate so much on this. Gossip shows and columns are everywhere - and they sell even if most of the time the facts have been distorted or exaggerated. Serious conversations come to a halt when someone comes in who have a "juicy blind item." People love to hear about the private lives of local and foreign celebrities, even politicians.
• Too much influence of media - This is highly debatable, but I believe many people rely most of their decisions on what they see on TV and other media. An example is national elections - people tend to vote for the candidate who has been very strong in surveys, and most of the time these candidates win. People listen too much to bad reporters who have bad manners like Mike Enriquez and Tulfo brothers, when strictly speaking, they shouldn't have qualified to become journalists. Media has become opinionated; they are sometimes very deliberate in taking sides, even if the word media (from the word medium) implies objectivity and neutrality. Money from advertising has indeed driven Philippine media into the rubbish it is today while sadly, people still listen to them as if they are totally reliable.

What do you see in our society today? Feel free to add and/or share your thoughts or even disagree with my opinions by commenting on this post.

Non-straight guys

Disclaimer: Some of my definitions and descriptions below may not be politically correct.

Okay, so there are the straight guys and girls. On the other side are the non-straight people. And below are my categorization of the non-straight:

Based on attraction:

• Lesbian - women who are attracted to women
• Gay - men who are attracted to men
• Bi-sexual - men/women who are attracted to both men/women
• Transgender - men/women who vary from the usual gender roles (e.g. transsexuals/cross-dressers); may/or may not be attracted to persons of the same sex

I'd like to focus on the non-straight men as this is where discrimination amongst each other occurs - something which I do not understand at all. I mean, it's hard living with the discrimination from those narrow-minded straight people; why do we have to discriminate other homosexuals just because they are out or they behave loudly? This discrimination is very rampant on gay dating sites and gay-oriented chat channels, which is unreasonable and should not happen.

So I'd like to lay out my further categorizations:

Based on behavior:

• Masculine - acts, dresses and speaks very manly
• Average - mildy masculine and effeminate, exhibiting both characteristics
• Effeminate - acts, dresses and speaks very femininely

Based on whether discreet or out:

• Discreet - limited number or almost no one knows of one's sexual preference
• Out - many or everyone knows of one's sexual preference

After describing the 3 categories above, one can now properly describe one's self. Me? I am a gay guy who has an average behavior and one who is out. And I am proud of who I am. Out and proud!

Being gay or whatever does not make someone less of a person. Sexual preference should no longer be a basis to judge a person. This is the 21st century. Let's be reasonable, fair and civilized.

Furthermore, in the gay world, being effeminate does not make one cheaper than those who claim to be masculine. Likewise, being "masculine" does not put one in a better spot in society than those who love to be flamboyant.

Why the name?

Maybe you are wondering why I chose to name my blog’s link as thevincidavinci. Simple. It’s a very simple tongue twister to test if you can properly speak the English language.

If you pronounced “the” and “da” the same, then something might be wrong with your tongue. You must have the “TH-D” syndrome.

No big deal? Think again. If you get used to ignoring these pronunciation rules, you might also end up with the “P-F syndrome” which can most of the time sound funny –e.g.  feel as /peel/. “I peel sad.” Bwahahaha!

Well I know it’s kinda rude, but my friends and I jokingly (well, I think seriously deep inside) tell people who can’t speak English properly, “You can’t sit with us!” (Gretchen to Regina in “Mean Girls.” Duh?!)

Seriously, the reason why my blog’s link name ended this long is that someone was already using the name vincidavinci – which was my original choice. And that’s it. Forget about the crappy explanations in the first 4 paragraphs.

Lifechanging event

People may just not notice it, but I am still in the process of moving on from a traumatic experience that recently happened. Yes - now, I can write about it. I got into a really freaky accident recently.

It was supposed to be the usual Friday night. Our office groupie decided to have a feast at a restaurant at Bonifacio High Street (BHS) after a company event. After filling our tummies, we decided to have bottomless margarita at Agave BHS.

It was really fun - we started playing games after several glasses of the traitor drink (note: those sweet margaritas have tequila as their alcohol base). Things even got kind of dirty with the truth or dare games.

The last moments I remembered were some other groupies coming and joining, drunken chitchat with new-found acquaintances and old friends, drinking more and more margaritas, smoking and burning a friend's finger, talking nonsense, losing count of the margaritas, and next thing I knew - I was walking with a friend who escorted me to the parking lot 'coz I decided to go home.

I couldn't remember those moments that I drove my car, passed by Coastal Road and drove past the toll gates without paying the toll. I was literally sleeping while driving!

I was suddenly awaken when my car suddenly hit a post, then some orange plastic barricades and then BAM! - some 2 or 3 concrete barriers. It was like a nightmare - there were policemen, towing trucks and next thing I knew - I was home, crying to my parents in shock.

My chest was in pain. However, x-ray results showed that my ribs have no fractures whatsoever. My chest just suffered from some beating/pressure when the seat belt locked me in my seat during the collision.

My car was kind of a train wreck. I feel sorry for what happened to my car, Britney. She's one of my best friends and I realized I took her for granted. Now I have to pay the price. I'm back to commuting while my car is undergoing repair. But hey - I was used to commuting for many years before I bought Britney, so there's nothing really new.

It's true that sometimes you just have to learn your lesson the very hard and painful way. I am just very thankful to God that nothing worse happened to me. I feel like He gave me another chance to live, to be a better person and to finish the business I am meant to do in this world.

Saturday night groupie

My Saturday nights are always filled with fun. Thanks to these friends of mine who are there to share my passion to party!

New year, new me

It's been a while since I last posted an entry here. I kept telling myself and even broadcast on Twitter that I'm gonna write another blog post again but no - the year ended without me being able to write about something. Not even about the holidays or what have you.

So what happened to Vinci? I can honestly say that it's been a very chaotic last quarter of 2010 for me. Let's just say I almost totally messed up my career, got really upset with a (former?) friend, and I don't even wanna talk about those things.

Now is 2011. I am getting old, and that is something I just have to deal with. No big promises - but it's going to be a new me. I wanna focus on my career because I know this is one of the very few things that will keep me going through life.

2010 has been a work-life imbalance for me as I have to admit that I've had too much life and lost track of my career goals. I can no longer change the past so now's the time to make things happen.

It's half past 3 in the morning. I have to sleep. Now.

Is this insomnia or what?

I love my current job because my work shift is from 1:00 (or later) to 10:00 pm (or later). *Wink* I just wish my shift will stay like this forever. It is rare to find an accounting job with this kind of schedule, where there is no pressure for me to wake up early (unless there are morning meetings or events) and where there is still time for me to spend time with friends or whomever after work.

But one thing that really bugs me is the fact that I can't sleep when I get home. May I be home early (like 11:00 pm to 12:00 am) or late (3:00 to 6:00 am), I still don't feel sleepy at all, except when I'm really really drunk. Like I can just drink and drink everyday for me to easily fall into a deep slumber! Cannot be.

There must be reasons behind this. Let me think...

• I watch TV when I get home. Cable TV offers so much variety of shows that catches my interest. I couldn't resist keeping my eyes fixed on those cool series or movies. So should I just throw away my TV set so that there would be no temptation? Absolutely not!
• I surf the net. I am a total web rat - if you know what I mean. I am addicted to Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, YouTube, PR (know what this is?) and LO (how about this?)! Our home internet connection is open almost 24/7 and we have wi-fi access so I can browse via our PC, my laptop or my phone. No - I can't let go of this addiction.
• I feel hungry at night. Yes, I may not look like a patay-gutom but I couldn't resist giving into my cravings at night - may it be a full meal or snacks. Then after eating, I wouldn't want to sleep due to fear of having nightmares and then die - just like the deceased Filipino matinee idol. So, in order for me not to fall asleep after eating, I either watch TV or surf the net, or both.
• I keep on thinking about stuff. Even if I lose the appetite to watch TV, surf the net or eat, I lay down on my bed but still keep my brain busy thinking about things like work, friends, plans, memories, dreams, fantasies, fears, etc. So what choice do I have?

I seriously need help - professional help. Should I seek counselling and/or medication? But wait, is this the thing we call insomnia? I need to check its definition.

From http://www.medterms.com/
Insomnia: The perception or complaint of inadequate or poor-quality sleep  because of one or more of the following: difficulty falling asleep; waking up frequently during the night with difficulty returning to sleep; waking up too early in the morning; or unrefreshing sleep. Insomnia  is not defined by the number of hours of sleep a person gets or how long it takes to fall asleep. Individuals vary normally in their need for, and their satisfaction with, sleep. Insomnia may cause problems during the day, such as tiredness, a lack of energy, difficulty concentrating, and irritability.

So is this insomnia or what?

Why am I single?

Many people have asked me this question: "Why are you single?" Why am I single? Here are some of the answers that I can give.

1. I broke up with my ex. *Laughs* Yes. I screwed up our 2-year relationship. Now it's just history. This is one silly reason why I am single. I won't go into the details, but if I didn't break up with him, I won't be single up to this very day. Moreover, my experiences with my past relationships might have brought this "trauma" that makes me sort of fear another serious commitment with a guy.
2. I may be picky. Well, I'm not actually choosy when it comes to my potential partner's physical features. I just want someone who looks decent and presentable (at least). My being picky is more on a person's profile and background. This is one problem that I have. I have so much restrictions on what someone should be - from what school he graduated, what his occupation is, where he works, where his family came from and the like. I know this is something pretty unfair for me to do, but I dunno. I just can't seem to be seriously attracted to people who don't meet certain requirements of mine. I know. I know. This is kinda unreasonable.
3. I am busy. There are so many things that I need to achieve at work. Not that I set all these goals, but I have to deliver many stuff that are not easy to accomplish in order for me to survive my dog-eat-dog career. Right now, I feel like I can't be distracted by relationship demands and dramas, unless a "perfect relationship" will come along which will not (in any way) affect my work.
4. I tend to be inconsistent. I find it hard to maintain the momentum of the "spark" whenever I start seeing someone because of the things I keep myself busy with (i.e. work). Please refer to #3. Next thing I know, this guy starts seeing another guy when my inconsistency begins to draw us apart.
5. There's no one out there. Many gay guys aren't serious, as I see it. They focus more on just merely dating and dating (and sleeping with) several guys, but won't end up staying with one. Again, this can probably be a very unfair statement, as I might also be guilty of this. This is just an observation, but someone can correct my misconception, of course! ;)
6. Maybe I don't believe in relationships anymore. After all, my happiness does not depend on having a partner, anyway. Maybe. But who knows, I might change my mind if the "right person" comes along.

Why am I single? Maybe I can throw back a question like "Why are you in a relationship? Your life seems to be nearing rock bottom because of the stress that your relationship brings you." Therefore, so what if I'm single? The important thing is I am very happy with my life right now. Whatever your status may be, make the most out of it. Enjoy!

8 hours

8 hours fly so swiftly.
Come in.
Start the computer.
Open applications.
Check the emails.
Do critical and urgent tasks.
Do the routinary tasks.
Eat lunch. Chat. Smoke.
Coffee, well sometimes (if needed).
Surf the net.
Go back doing the routinary stuff.
Do some "extra" work.
Eat dinner. Chat. Smoke.
Surf the net.
Reply to forgotten emails.
Drive home.
These 8 hours tend to become seriously boring at times.
But these 8 hours keep me living.

Late 20's

Yes - I am now 26, and on my late 20's. Another year older, and I hope another year better as a person. The bar always goes higher and people expect so much. Not that I care about pleasing people, but I do give a crap on being more mature than ever. Growing old means growing up too, and I need to be serious about this.

To make my celebration a blast, I threw a party at my place on the eve of my birthday. I won't talk about the details but one thing's for sure - it was fun! After getting some sleep the morning after, I decided I should spend my birthday alone - to contemplate and to simply spend time with just myself. Me-time!

As I was driving, eating and having coffee, there was only thing in my mind - to focus on my priorities. At the end of the day, I had an agreement with myself - that I should know the things I want, know how to get them, and achieve them - the way I used to.

Looking back when I was still in high school and college, I was a go-getter. When I started working, I kind of loosened up a bit and got pretty laid back. This was maybe because I exerted too much effort on being that kid in school whose grades are rocking and who is visible in almost every school activity there is. Stress brought about by the pressure of graduating with honors, getting awards and passing the board exams consumed me.

But now I am in the real world - this is the time when I should be more competitive as ever. This is a dog-eat-dog world, and I can't be left rotting on the sidewalk as people climb up to success, for however it is measured. I will do it, and I am determined. However, I also promised myself that I will still have fun in whatever thing I'll be serious about. Life is too short and nobody gets out of it alive anyway, as they say.

Do I look serious? Haha. I bet you doubt it. But just watch me! ;)

Unpredictable

I believe that no one can predict the future. What might happen could be written in the stars, but I guess no one could decipher those writings. Even sophisticated scientific methods and devices couldn't accurately tell when earthquakes or volcanic eruptions will occur. These couldn't even measure the extent of damage a huge typhoon will bring.

Just like events, people are unpredictable too. They can be consistently behaving in a certain manner, but you might be surprised to see their other side when induced or provoked. Never judge a person, as you may never know what they can do - to you.

Spare tire

Keeping a spare tire for the car is a good practice. It’s like maintaining a buffer for whatever wicked thing that can happen to one of the tires. A few weeks after I purchased my car Britney, I was unfortunate enough to be a victim of those vulcanizing shops who place tacks near their vicinity so they can have instant clients. Good thing brand new cars have spare tires kept in their trunks. Thus, I was early to realize the benefit of a spare tire.

If we contextualize spare tires to people, that would be a different story. Regrettable enough, I had recently been used as a spare tire of someone. You’ll get what I mean, shortly.

WARNING: The following sentences contain too much drama and raving, and they can “violate” you.

So my friends and I went out on a Thursday night to send off one of my closest buddies who will be then flying to the States for a 6-month work assignment. We went to this gay club in Malate where I met a guy. He is cute and attractive, and we had on-the-spot chemistry. We were talking about stuff, until he suddenly confessed to me that he has a boyfriend, whom he is living with.

Reality check: I was flirting with a committed guy who just sneaked out from the place he is sharing with his lover to go clubbing and meet some people. But what the hell, I still entertained him anyway. And we exchanged digits!

We started texting so that we can get to know more things about each other. Until one day, his boyfriend caught him. But we managed to continue our communication through some weirdly funny codes, so I would know if it’s him who’s texting; otherwise, it’s his boyfriend using his phone to nose about me.

I asked him out so he would see the real odd person that I am. I asked him to join me in one of the activities that I love doing alone. I guess he liked that idea of our date, and I was starting to like him. As I was about to drop him off, I asked a kiss from him, which he obliged. It was a totally bad idea, as things were never the same after that moment. I knew I was beginning to fall for him.

I thought things were happening to my favor as I learned that he broke up with his partner and moved out of their apartment. I took advantage of the situation and invited him as a “plus one” to a friend’s party. I was happy that he mingled well with my friends. My friends actually felt that he is becoming assimilated into our circle. Everything went pretty much well, and hot, and the rest is history. His lovemaking words were so promising that it gave me a spark of hope that there could be an “us” in the near future.

One very busy and stressful day in the office, I received a text from him implying that he and his ex-boyfriend patched things up and got back together. It suddenly dawned to me that I was just used as a spare tire – a comfort person during trying times who can be disposed off easily. I couldn’t blame him alone, because I allowed him to exploit me. I admit I was teary-eyed, and it totally ruined my day.

Looking back, I realized that it wouldn’t have worked out easily between the two of us because we started out as an act of cheating, to be blunt about it. Maybe they really love one another and I was just a hurtful phase in their more-than-a-year relationship.

So here I am, back to my cynical and jaded self. It’s not like I’m gonna go emo over this. Putting everything into words indeed helped a lot. Some things are just not meant to be.

Weekends

I'm starting to believe that weekends are just hallucinations, an imaginary oasis, a dream, a temporary state of happiness. Everyone looks forward to it. And when that time of the week comes, everyone is happy. People go out. Shop. Have dinner. Have a couple of drinks. Party. Get drunk. Go wasted. Go out of town. Splurge. But when it's Monday again, it's reality check. More like a reality bite - realizing how much one has spent during the weekends leaving none for the coming week. Everyone should go back to school or work, seeing the evil grin and hearing the demonic laugh of the 5 days waiting to stress one out. And the cycle goes on. And on.

Drunk texting, drunk calling

The semi-uncontrollable habit of texting or calling someone when you're drunk is far more dangerous than drunk driving, I suppose. If you're drunk-driving, the consequence can only be a one-off thing - death. But if you're drunk texting or calling, the consequences of the things you can say can be very grave - to the point you'll wish you'd die instantly, but you won't!

Just recently, I got buzzed with drinking different kinds of mixed drinks and stupidly decided to drunk-call someone from my past (and skipped the drunk-texting part!). Good thing his phone didn't ring and I just got the recorded voice message "The number you have dialed is either unattended or out of coverage area." - or I could have said some pathetic stuff that will totally ruin my past decision that I stood strong with. Looking back, I realized that I had nothing to say to him in the first place (or so I thought)! I am very thankful that I was then so weak and lazy to text him after the failed call attempt. Relief!

Next time I feel like I'm starting to get possessed by alcohol, I will turn off my phone. This is madness, and it should never happen again!

Preferences

Most of the time, I can't help but ignore some people because they did/do not meet my expectations and preferences. Perhaps it's true that we all have our biases and prejudices. I suddenly recalled the song from the Tony Award winning musical Avenue Q entitled "Everyone's a little bit racist", with some lines that go like:

Everyone's a little bit racist
Sometimes.
Doesn't mean we go
Around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind.
Maybe it's a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race.

Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They're based on truth.
Don't take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!

If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us
Get along.

Everyone's a little bit racist
It's true.
But everyone is just about
As racist as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in -
Harmony! 

Well I guess you can't blame me if I consider certain features of a person before deciding whether I should go out with him or not. It's simply called preferences. I'm not the only person who has that - all people have these criteria in their minds. And some people can be really very choosy even if their looks suggest they shouldn't! So what the heck!?

Team building

Team building, in its most literal sense, means building a team. This requires not just building rapport and camaraderie, but also improving relationships and trust amongst each other, especially in a corporate setup. It may be a one, two or three-day event, but participants should remember that the lessons learned should not end with the event. It should be applied to the daily work environment or every penny spent on organizing the whole activity is just put to waste.

Our department had an overnight team building event last 18-19 June 2010 at the Forest Club in Laguna. To say that the group activities were tiring is an understatement. Nonetheless, we had fun and the tasks brought out the best in us. We also learned to overcome our fears and discovered some pretty interesting stuff about people we don't usually hang out with in the office. I think this is nice, especially when you already had some impression (or should I say judgement) of a certain colleague from a work-related interaction. It helps you understand why a person acts in a certain way and makes you feel comfortable about it.

The most exciting part was the evening party where lots of booze were served. There were no walls. Everyone showed one's true colors. As the saying goes, in vino veritas - in wine there is truth. People began sharing their problems, their strong opinions on some matters, and even their nastiest secrets. Until everyone went to bed or was brought to bed after passing out!

Even though there were no verbal discussions of the lessons learned, I believe (and hope) we are mature enough to have realized those things. I just hope that the cracks on the wall can still be re-painted so that we can be on the right track to our goal of being one.

No dramas please

Sometimes I wonder - Do some people really mean to unleash their highly personal dramas unto others - like unto perfect strangers they barely even know? Do they really think it's fine to do that?

Okay I'll be specific. There's some people I meet (whether online or in the real world) who suddenly (out of nowhere) talks to me about some problems with either family, work, friends, finances or whatever. I have to be honest - I can't help but be turned off by this. I don't mean to be mean or something, but I think it's pretty un-cool to share those stuff no matter how important that is, to people you're supposed to show a good impression to.

If one has some pretty nasty issues, I believe it's not a good time for one to mingle with others and infect them with those. It's just not right to ruin someone else's day just because one's life is messed up. Or if one is really that desperate to go out with other people, I reckon it's but fair to at least carry one's self as a clean slate - no dramas. Or at least hide them in the meantime. If this is not possible - better fix them first.

Strangers. Reason.

The world is indeed a jungle full of strangers. It’s really amazing how a simple decision of going to this place instead of this other place goes a level higher when you meet someone that changes your life. This alone makes me think that everything happens for a reason. Yeah, I know I lack coherence, but I’m sure this makes sense.
7 June 2010